I realise that it has been quite some time since I last made an entry in this blog. Since my last post, I have done some experimentation with space & the use of it. However, I was unable to do anything with that experimentation – I had no idea backing it to create anything with which to create a performance. I tried to conjure up ideas to base my performance off of, stories that I could tell that would be interesting. I focussed on my Granddad, who I was named after, and what he had done with his life. His life was rather fantastical, including stories of befriending gangsters in Chicago, to sitting two rows behind the Kennedy family at a memorial for John F Kennedy. I even found a recording of him singing in the D’Oyly Carte.

The range of stories about him are varied, and they were all good stories, that people would struggle to believe. However, when it came to making a show, there was nothing practical that came to mind, other than a Spalding Gray-esque method of story-telling. Ultimately, it didn’t help that I didn’t experience them, and the stories were told to me by family, rather than by him. Instead, I thought that I’d focus on the part of his life that I remember very clearly, his Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s causes the loss of brain cells, which ultimately causes the brain to shrink, the results of which are, according to the NHS website, as follows:

“Part of the brain known as the cerebral cortex is particularly affected by this shrinkage. The cerebral cortex is the layer of grey matter covering the brain. Grey matter is responsible for processing thoughts and many of the complex functions of our brains, such as storing and retrieving memories, calculation, spelling, planning and organising.

Clumps of protein, known as “plaques” and “tangles”, gradually form in the brain. The plaques and tangles are thought to be responsible for the increasing loss of brain cells. Connections between brain cells are lost and less neurotransmitter chemicals are available to carry messages from one brain cell to another. The plaques and tangles also affect the chemicals that carry messages between brain cells.” (Nhs.uk, 2015)

Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease is hereditary, meaning that in all likelihood, my father and my brother & I have a strong chance of contracting it. This is something that I am, frankly, terrified of. However, the idea of the loss of memory interests me. My poor memory is well known amongst my family and friends, and in this, I’d like to explore the inconsistency and loss of memory. I would like to explore the stress of forgetting important things, the frustration of forgetting basic things and the skewed perspective that our memory offers. Firstly, I’d like for this experience to be somewhat intimate, given that this situation is a rather domestic one, setting up the stage with comfortable, homely furniture. However, I’d like to try and make it more visually surreal as it goes on and I delve deeper into the experience of memory and living with someone who’s suffering a condition that affects the memory, such as Alzheimer’s – using my experience to help me.

Whilst I don’t have much else other than this so far, when I have some more, I will post it to this blog.